When the 5 Russians danced in bikini and Sajid Khan drank a bottle of Tomato Ketchup

Being Chef ! Chasing Dreamz ! Sounds out of the world… The road of a Hotel Management grad is real tough but a one to be enjoyed no doubt. It throws at you moments to cherish all your life.

In the true spirit of HM had Monday morning blues at the school of Hotel Management I studied, when walked in our beloved lecturer of F&B Service with such an immense talent and experience that if he would just see a entrée dish, the fork and spoon would themself do silver service ! A list of names of students was announced by him for 5 day marathon ‘Waiting’ at one of the leading star hotel at International Airport after college hours. The day had already started on a low for me. 5 days of waiting! No ways I was going to do that, and so true to my style I got a replacement (unofficially) but for the last four days only. I was about to learn how lucky I was not to get a replacement for the first day.

The remarkable thing about visiting a hotel from time office is the buzzing noise of the centralized a/c plants, which instantly gives you goose bumps and you know where you belong and what your job is going to be like. That apart every HM grad loves to play with the nerves of the seniors, overshooting the reporting time by a good 45 minutes BANG ! Our first step was a success at scoring a point over the mental games that we would play with the Banquet manager, over the next 5 days. As the days would unfold, we were going to live our life to the fullest ( though I was all set to miss the action over the next 4 days). Surely HMCT’tian knows how to enjoy. The Banquets manager was going ******* over the already delayed waiting staff. We changed into the banquets attire and lined up for the briefing, which was full of abuses. They say every day we learn something new, surely be late for a waiting by 45 mins and u will learn a new abuse. The game begins now called musical positions. Trying to read in to managers mind, no one wants at this hotel too be serving starters placed in a mini tandoor nicked named as ‘Chota Hatti’ by Mr. Lazy Bum, The platters weight is not less than 2 Kg. and when you have to carry it all the while in one hand along with the food in it… Divine help is needed. No guesses I was named in the unlucky few to do the honors along with my close friends one among us was the batting master Shafee and Shehroz. The pain of being at the receiving end dies instantly when you know your friends are for company, maybe that’s what they called human psychology. The lucky few get to do the easiest job “Clearance’.

Groups of people had different job. Some would serve hard drinks, some soft drinks, some starters veg & non veg, where as some only for clearance. More than two hours in to the party, which was now at its peak, even a casual is a manager at the peak time. I saw around in the entire Banquet amongst my friends and the group bestowed with the task of carrying Chota Hatti I was the lone man standing, serving the chota hatti in one hand (F******* **** ***). making matters more worst, no one was even eating the tasteless chicken boti, and I was left to do with not to return till the time platter is not 70% empty as they say in the back area. Shafee was missing and missing from the party, as always batting master at his best at batting, he had already found hiding place which even the designer architect of the hotel would never find even in his dreams. Shehroz was at his best using his communications expertise to Chu**** banaofy the supervisors. More detailed scanning of the Banquet by me threw some light on few more interesting characters who were given specific task at the beginning during the briefing but by now they were doing what they were best known for.

Imtiyaz was speaking with the guest as if he is one among them. Robin was not watching the hot girls among guest with mini-skirts, but the permanent employees to be at a safe distance from serving food. Graceton had by now standing at the bar along with some employee bartenders (who would eventually turned out to be resident of Vasai same as Graceton) had already taken his quota of few vodka shots. Dawson was busy distributing chits with his mobile number written on them to the girls from other HM college doing waiting along with us. Bonnie was busy serving food, but not to guest but to the waiting staff ‘Us’ my other friends! The TL our one year Sr. forgot the chaps name was busy answering question by all the guys as to when will be check out, at his every reply he would get 5 abuses. Pratick was busy taking names for the un-official waiting for Umang Caterers for Dandiya night coming week. Lover boy Deepak was drowning in the pain of separation from his love Interest. Adil the smarty was throwing his famous slow smiles at all the hot girls, but his smiles were so slow, the girls were getting bored to death. Danish was in the parking lot smoking a Cigarette, may be that’s an under-statement to describe Danish ‘A Cigarette’ it should be ‘Smoking Cigarette’s’. By now Anupa could give you an elaborate lecture on what to eat and what not to eat from the buffet. Vasim was in one corner calculating and doing cost analysis of the money to be made out of the waitings. Among this all, one man was different but still the same Bhooka Khan oops Sajid, The only reason he did HM was to eat and eat and eat. He was trying his luck at the buffet in vain.

But then heavens opened on Sajid. 5 Russian dancers came in the banquets dancing to a Hindi song in a mini top and skirt, all heads turned, eyes were glued to their flexes, and what not. Sajid was waiting for this moment to try his hands at the buffet. The song was over they went back in the back area. After 5 minutes the ladies came back to a new song, but minus mini top but of course an inner garment on top ! now more than the buffet for Sajid the Russians were more interesting. I could hear the uuumps and aahs at their every shake. After the song was over they went back in, same repeated, 5 minutes of nervous silence, the girls came back again and not to any one’s surprise only in inner garments. From nowhere I had great energy to carry the Chotta hatti all over again, that divine help has arrived !

Things suddenly looked alive at the Banquet. If only his bag was big enough Graceton would have carried one girl out of the hotel in the bag, Dawson tried his best to drop one chit for them. News had already reached Shafee and he was back in the Banquet from his hiding and resting place. If only he was good at Russian speaking would have been running in Shehroz’s mind. May be that was an inspiration for Melvin to someday earn good enough and throw some dollar bills on strippers back in USA. The girls went back in again after the song was over, that’s when I overheard a group of old men saying, are they going to play 4th song as well ? With an excitement in voice and spark in the old eyes, every guy and few girls with changing preference in the party had the same question on their mind. I was no different to the same question. The party was coming to an end, it was time for check out, when we were told 5 people have to wait back as there is a sit down service late night for the host. With rumors already doing the round an hour back 4th and 5th song will be played after mid-night, a few volunteered for the same me included inspite of being it an exhausting condition, but I was left to do away with it, as I guess they considered me too smart and handsome to be in frot of the Russian chicks again !

Now was the time for the customary feast from the buffet in the lawn area. We all were tired, exhausted and hungry, we rushed back, for the food, whatever limited was on offer was finished in a matter of few seconds. Sajid was late, still standing back in the briefing; thinking some one would back out, and full of confident 4th and 5th song will be played, when he came he had nothing left to eat or drink. There was a Tomato ketch-up 1 liter bottle on the table.

Sajid saw left, Sajid saw right and Sajid drank Tomato Ketch-up that night !!!

Till day I am searching for the answer was I unlucky to get replacement for last 4 days

Once in a life time every individual should do Hotel Management !


- Jawad